tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62775623260839824332024-03-05T16:41:52.607-06:00SteventheThorn BlogSongwriter, Storyteller, SteventheThornSteventheThornhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16901573914662306498noreply@blogger.comBlogger128125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6277562326083982433.post-60848389434357698982016-07-31T19:02:00.000-05:002016-07-31T19:02:14.689-05:00City of Lights (Single) by Steven Thorn<br />
<iframe frameborder="no" height="450" scrolling="no" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/261521831&auto_play=false&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&visual=true" width="100%"></iframe><br />
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"City of Lights" is an alternative rock anthem celebrating the beauty and romance of Paris. Remembering an idyllic Bastille Day weekend in 2012, the song is rich in memory, metaphor, history, and hope.</div>
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The dramatic soundscape evokes Ben Gibbard, Coldplay, Death Cab for Cutie, James Blunt, Jon Foreman, Switchfoot, and U2.</div>
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Come along for the ride and revel in the City of Lights!</div>
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Available on <a href="https://www.amazon.com/City-Lights-Steven-Thorn/dp/B01F4KDUR0">Amazon</a>, <a href="http://itunes.apple.com/album/id1110621544">Apple Music</a>, <a href="https://steventhethorn.bandcamp.com/releases">Bandcamp</a>, <a href="http://itunes.apple.com/album/id1110621544?ls=1&app=itunes">iTunes</a>, <a href="https://open.spotify.com/album/35vLot8wF3aBZn71EzrGx8">Spotify</a>, and other major digital distributors.</div>
SteventheThornhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16901573914662306498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6277562326083982433.post-4150360133154980392016-04-13T14:16:00.001-05:002016-04-15T17:34:20.820-05:00How the London Blitz Influenced the Phoenix Guardian<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">In summer 2011 I studied abroad at Brasnose College in Oxford, England with the University of Oklahoma. In my final week I visited the Imperial War Museum in London, and it had a profound impact on me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><a href="http://steventhethorn.blogspot.com/2011/08/imperial-war-museum.html">The entire museum is brilliant</a>, from the collection of planes and tanks to the incomparable exhibit on General "Monty." I wrote <a href="http://steventhethorn.blogspot.com/2011/08/imperial-war-museum.html">a blog post about it</a> which is well worth checking out.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">The visit was a very emotional experience because of the Holocaust and Children of World War II exhibits. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">While wandering the Children of World War II exhibit, I saw an elderly lady sitting quietly by herself. I didn't know if she worked there or not. We made eye contact, and she asked me where I was from.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">I told her I was from the United States, and we started talking. She was, in a way, part of the exhibit because she was an evacuee from London during the Blitz. She was only a little girl at the time, but she had some memories. She remarked that it was very curious to see German families in the museum. (She had no animosity toward them, but it obviously provoked some complicated emotions.)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">When our conversation was almost done, she asked me what I was doing with my life. Implicit in the question, and the tone, was that so much had been spent and suffered during World War II that her generation hoped we were making the most of our freedom.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">After stuttering momentarily under the weight of history and the endurance of Western Civilization, I told this kind London Blitz survivor that I was still in college. She asked what I was studying. Writing.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">That seemed to satisfy her, and she wished me the best.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL25KwnkWASVGT_H9rjVlmoCpvpMGLKWfKp9yr7CHkPxPi75uIA9Sk2ffxB9HDv6WmRc4yLjOyQB67-LwRTiqos_B_a3a-2AfLtzq9FCeE_mDGqwbIfaAFSke6i3oXL-bvrvDR-LhdsYE/s1600/S1180017.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL25KwnkWASVGT_H9rjVlmoCpvpMGLKWfKp9yr7CHkPxPi75uIA9Sk2ffxB9HDv6WmRc4yLjOyQB67-LwRTiqos_B_a3a-2AfLtzq9FCeE_mDGqwbIfaAFSke6i3oXL-bvrvDR-LhdsYE/s320/S1180017.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">The Children of World War II exhibit, and my talk with that wonderful life, had a lasting impact on me which translated directly into my first novel (which I wrote in the fall of 2011).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">That novel is <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Phoenix-Guardian-Steven-Thorn/dp/1470165929/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1460574777&sr=8-1&keywords=the+phoenix+guardian">The Phoenix Guardian</a></i>.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">I have been editing the book (which was published in 2012) for a second edition, and today I edited a memorable chapter entitled, "A Vacation to the Country." Many readers have regarded it as the best chapter in the book. It might be the single best piece I've written.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">You can read <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Phoenix-Guardian-Steven-Thorn/dp/1470165929/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1460574777&sr=8-1&keywords=the+phoenix+guardian">The Phoenix Guardian</a> </i>for free on Kindle if you borrow it through Amazon Prime. You can also purchase it for Kindle or on paperback.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">The second edition will be out this summer.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Stories cannot undo or heal the hurt from wars, but they can be a warning, a memorial, a lament.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Maybe I've done my small part of remembering something that shouldn't be forgotten. Something that shouldn't be repeated.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ3ixSfhnSAyoiBji0QiB4wMfuzJHwYUfBQ_ZTarSFosOqX-lK5o_mF8-Ey_TgVAu-F5C31Cxa2g81ZbiMsv78C7I_K_hUktHEfN8NTRtg7PN0KkQhPrff4W4QU_sW4E-cwbIuiOWN458/s1600/51ml5q8B1-L._SX331_BO1%252C204%252C203%252C200_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ3ixSfhnSAyoiBji0QiB4wMfuzJHwYUfBQ_ZTarSFosOqX-lK5o_mF8-Ey_TgVAu-F5C31Cxa2g81ZbiMsv78C7I_K_hUktHEfN8NTRtg7PN0KkQhPrff4W4QU_sW4E-cwbIuiOWN458/s320/51ml5q8B1-L._SX331_BO1%252C204%252C203%252C200_.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;">Plot synopsis.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 22.399999618530273px;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>On the planet Mithris, humanity is caught in a terrible war . . . and the gods don’t care. Serena is an eighteen year-old girl who doesn’t care about the gods. She just wants to be left alone.</i></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 22.399999618530273px;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>Unfortunately for Serena, a strange girl named Natalie Bliss falls out of the sky with an urgent mission: Serena must help her stop the war and save the world. Natalie claims to have been sent by the Pantheon (the deities who run the universe) to confront the negligent gods of Mithris. The gods need to intervene before mankind destroys itself—and Serena has a vital role in Natalie’s plan. </i></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 22.399999618530273px;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>erena is thrust into a supernatural world that she never believed in, and she demands to know why she was chosen. Natalie won’t tell her—yet.</i></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 22.399999618530273px;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>When the truth is revealed, Serena must choose between walking away . . . or uniting her fate with the survival of mankind.</i></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 22.399999618530273px;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>As the girls get closer to the Tower of the Gods, they face terrifying assassins, raging infernos, and falling bombs. Secrets surround them as Serena tries to discover her true identity—and unravel the mystery of the red-haired girl who carries a magical umbrella. The girls hope that the gods will answer their plea for help, but they may already be too late.</i></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 22.399999618530273px;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>Betrayal stalks among the gods of Mithris, and the traitor has dangerous secrets that could destroy them all.</i></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 22.399999618530273px;"><span style="font-family: "times" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>The clock is ticking for Serena and Natalie—and for the world itself.</i></span></span>SteventheThornhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16901573914662306498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6277562326083982433.post-15295796654900949442014-07-29T22:35:00.000-05:002015-01-09T17:21:52.368-06:00Classic Breakup Lines: “We Need to Talk”<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<b>This post was originally a transcript of a <a href="https://soundcloud.com/steventhethorn">Soundcloud</a> podcast. That content is being moved to <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/SteventheThorn">YouTube</a>.</b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Classic
Breakup Lines: “We Need to Talk”</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">BLURB:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Steven and Stephen talk about relationships in the
Week’s Most Hilarious Half Hour!</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
a) Steven recaps the World Cup</div>
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2) Steven and Stephen discuss Breakup Lines</div>
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d) Stephen sings some Taylor Swift</div>
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iii) Steven provides some Template Breakup Lines</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">INTRO:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Welcome to the SteventheThorn Podcast! You’re
listening to this podcast because I’m an authority on many things. Why am I an
authority on many things? Because I have glasses and a beard.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">WORLD CUP RECAP:</b></div>
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My previous four podcasts were about the World
Cup. In case you missed the World Cup, here’s a recap of everything that
happened:</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">a)</b> Host
nation Brazil won...first 5 games. Then they played Germany.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">2)</b>
Uruguay superstar Luis Suarez got in trouble after eating some Italian. He
initially denied the NOM NOM NOM, claiming that his upper jaw simply “impacted”
Chiellini’s shoulder. After he realized that FIFA wouldn’t relax his
substantial ban, Suarez changed his mind and decided that maybe he did have a
nibble. But, as King Julian said in Madagascar, what’s a bite on the butt
between a few friends? Here, Maurice, have a nibble.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">d)</b> Xenophobic
Americans blamed soccer for the apparent rise of socialism in the United
States. Apparently, fútbol is also anti-American and anti-Christian. Haters of
soccer also took the World Cup as an opportunity to hate immigrants and people
who don’t speak English. As we all know, this nation was founded exclusively by
English-speaking white males. We’re so impressed by those people who can trace
their American heritage back to the creation of the world in the year 6,018
B.C.</div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">4) </b>Adam
Young of Owl City has a twin brother, Lionel Messi, who led his country of
Argentina to the World Cup final. Unfortunately, they lost </div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">E) </b>Perhaps
the most important news from the World Cup: the United States made us proud by
surviving the Group of Death. We beat the Boogeyman, tied Cristiano Ronaldo, and
lost 1-0 to World Cup champions Germany. After scoring the game winner against
Ghana, John Brooks became greatest American since Abe Lincoln; and Tim Howard
was appointed the Minister of Defense for his record-breaking performance
against Belgium. We remember Howard’s efforts every time we have a Freedom
Waffle for breakfast.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Joining me today is Stephen Kudlaty. Today Stephen and Steven are going to talk about
breakup lines. Those zingers that we all must use, at one time or another, to
end a relationship in the hopes of starting a new relationship with a funnier,
more attractive person.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Disclaimer:
</b>This subject may step on a few people’s toes. It is not my goal to offend
you. However, it is my goal to make fun of you.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Dedication:
</b>This show is dedicated to all the boys and girls who have used these lines,
and to all of the boys and girls who have had these lines used on them.</div>
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If you’re just getting out of a relationship, I
hope that this show can provide some consolation.</div>
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If you’re <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">trying
to end </b>a relationship, I hope this show gives you some great ideas for <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">dropping that bomb.</b></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Before
Using a Breakup Line: We Need to Talk</b></div>
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I think the universally accepted method of
broaching a breakup is the dreaded: “We need to talk.”</div>
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It’s actually a great line because it braces the
unlucky party for what’s coming next. I give that line five out of five stars.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Breakup
Lines</b></div>
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It’s not you, it’s me. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Translation?</b> It’s you.</div>
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You’re too good for me. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Translation?</b> I’m too good for you.</div>
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It’s complicated. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Translation? </b>You’re not worth the time it would take to explain.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">BURN</i> Breakup Lines</b></div>
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I think I need glasses or something because I just
can’t see us together anymore.</div>
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Please cancel my subscriptions. I’ve had enough of
your issues.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Christian
Breakup Lines</b></div>
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I feel like God is calling me in a different
direction.</div>
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I just need to focus on my relationship with God.</div>
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I don’t feel like God is actually leading me to be
in a relationship.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Our
Proposed Breakup Line for Girls:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
I am neither attracted by your body nor your
personality. Looks are important. So is a sense of humor. You have neither. The
only things you could possibly change are your fashion and your hygiene, but
even that wouldn’t get you out of the negatives. If it makes you feel any
better, I got an ego boost and some emotional pleasure out of being pursued.
But my pity has now outweighed my sense of enjoyment. It’s over. Onto the friend
shelf you go.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Our
Proposed Breakup Line for Boys:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
It’s over. I just realized that Emma Watson has a
Twitter account, and I feel like I finally have a chance.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Our
Proposed Gender-Neutral Breakup Line:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
I was using you as a rebound. But I’m better now.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Breakup
Lines vs Cold Shoulders</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Can we give Breakup Liners and credit over the
people who give the cold shoulder and just drop off the map?</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Recommended
Listening:<br />
</b>1. “The One I’m Waiting For” by Relient K</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
2. Anything by Taylor Swift or Adele (Christina
Gooch)</div>
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3. “Lovers to Friends” by Icona Pop (Jacey Dunn)</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
4. “Pain” by Three Day’s Grace (Zach Kley)</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
5. “I’m Not the Same Without You” by Donald Fagen
(Mason Depew)</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
(Thanks to the above people for the Recommended Listening.) </div>
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<![endif]-->SteventheThornhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16901573914662306498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6277562326083982433.post-63670356722917509702014-07-09T12:57:00.002-05:002014-07-09T12:57:37.653-05:00Sharpe Series Theme Tab<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/zd5KNNcreZ4?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;"></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Courier New",Courier,monospace;">Sharpe Series Theme<br /><br />Listen to the song for the timing.<br /><br />|---------------------------------------|<br />|-----------3---3-5-3---------3-5-3---3-|<br />|-------4-5---5-------5-----5-------5---|<br />|-5-2-5-----------------5-2-------------|<br />|---------------------------------------|<br />|---------------------------------------|<br /><br /><br />|---3----------------------------------|<br />|-5---5-3---3-5---3---------------3----|<br />|---------5-----5---5-2-------4-5---5--|<br />|-----------------------5-2-5----------|<br />|--------------------------------------|<br />|--------------------------------------|<br /><br /><br />**||-----------------3-------------------------------------|<br />**||------------3-5-----5--3-----3--5-----3----------------|<br />**||------2-4-5---------------5--------5-----5--2----------|<br />**||--2-5------------------------------------------5--2--5-|<br />**||-------------------------------------------------------|<br />**||-------------------------------------------------------|<br /><br /><br />|-------------|**|------------|<br />|-------3-----|**|------------|<br />|-4--5-----5--|**|-4--5--5----|<br />|-------------|**|-------5----|<br />|-------------|**|-------3----|<br />|-------------|**|------------|<br /><br />**At the beginning of this section it gets fast, and the ** at the end show where you can go back and play the fast part again.</span>SteventheThornhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16901573914662306498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6277562326083982433.post-14366092403692287182014-06-11T16:37:00.001-05:002015-01-09T22:30:20.741-06:00World Cup 2014 Part 4<b>This post was originally a transcript of a <a href="https://soundcloud.com/steventhethorn">Soundcloud</a> podcast. That content is being moved to <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/SteventheThorn">YouTube</a>.</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">BLURB:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
The Boogeyman! Ronaldo! Bayern Munich! The Group
of Death!</div>
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In the conclusion to the Top 20 Things to Know
About the 2014 World Cup, Steven discusses:</div>
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16. The USA and the Group of Death.</div>
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17. Defending World Champions: Spain</div>
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18. The music of the World Cup</div>
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19. Best and worst World Cup jerseys</div>
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20. Isn’t soccer boring?</div>
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Listen in and become a soccer expert for those
World Cup Watch Parties!</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">INTRO:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Welcome to the SteventheThorn Podcast! You’re
listening to this podcast because I’m an authority on many things. Why am I an
authority on many things? Because I have glasses and a beard.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">RECAP:</b></div>
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In our last podcast, I highlighted five players to
watch for the 2014 World Cup as part of my Top 20 Things to Know series:</div>
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1. Cristiano Ronaldo of Portgual</div>
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2. Lionel Messi of Argentina</div>
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3. Neymar of Brazil</div>
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4. Luis Suarez of Uruguay</div>
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5. Mario Balotelli of Italy</div>
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I told you that Ronaldo would have the tournament’s
best hair, but that Neymar would be a solid runner-up. And I gave you fair
warning that both Ronaldo and Balotelli will probably rip off their shirts if
they score.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">TODAY:</b></div>
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Today we wrap up the Top 20 Things to Know About
the 2014 World Cup! Here are 16-20:</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">16. USA
Group Matches</b></div>
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The United States must play the Boogeyman, Cristiano
Ronaldo, and Bayern Munich. The Boogeyman is Ghana—who have eliminated us from
the last two World Cups (Group Stage in 2006 and the Round of 16 in 2010).</div>
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Ronaldo, of course, is Portugal; he <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">is </i>the team.</div>
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And Germany is basically Bayern Munich without
Arjen Robben and Franck Ribery.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Many people, myself included, felt like the United
States had been eliminated from the World Cup as soon as the draw was
announced. We have been placed in the Group of Death: Group G. Our group is
undoubtedly the most difficult in the tournament. Every single team in our group—USA,
Ghana, Portugal, and Germany—made it to the knockout rounds in the last World
Cup. Germany made it to the semifinals, losing out to winners Spain.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Fortunately, the United States plays the Group of
Death in a favorable schedule: Ghana comes first, Portugal second, and Germany
third. Germany is the best team, and there’s a chance they might have locked up
their place in the knockout stage by the time they play us. If the United
States can get 3 points by beating Ghana, we have a shot at getting two draws
against Portugal and Germany. And then maybe 5 points will be enough to get us
out of the group. I think 5 points is a realistic goal for the United States,
whether or not it gets us out of the group.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">17.
Defending World Champions: Spain</b></div>
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After losing 3-0 to Brazil in the Confederations
Cup final, La Furia Roja is no longer the team to beat. However, neither is Brazil.
There’s a power vacuum that will be filled on Sunday, July 13. But Spain has as
likely a chance as anyone to be the one to fill that vacuum. They could very
well repeat as World Champions, becoming the first team to win consecutive European
championships and World championships. The loss in the Confederations Cup final
may be the motivation to win in the World Cup final.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
As always, the Spanish lineup is loaded. In goal
is Iker Casillas, one of the greatest goalkeepers to ever stand between the
sticks. Behind him are David de Gea of Manchester United and Pepe Reina of
Napoli. Both De Gea and Reina could confidently hold their own if Casillas got
injured.</div>
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Spain’s backline isn’t quite what it used to be,
but it’s still great. Since the last World Cup, Spain' has lost Carlos Puyol,
the ferocious lion-maned centerback from Barcelona. However, Spain’s backline
still has Gerard Pique, Jordi Alba, Sergio Ramos, and the young Cesar
Azpilicueta—who, along with the entire German national team—has one of the most
fun names to say.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Spain also has the most formidable midfield in the
world: Javi Martinez of Bayern Munich, Andres Iniesta of Barcelona, Xavi
Hernandez of Barcelona, Cesc Fabregas of Barcelona, Sergio Busquets of
Barcelona, Xabi Alonso of Real Madrid, Santi Cazorla of Arsenal, and David
Silva of Manchester City. Juan Mata of Manchester United has been bumped up to
forward for the purpose of this squad.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
It’s just sick how loaded their midfield is. And
Jesus Navas, one of Spain’s fastest midfielders, didn’t even make it to Brazil
(which I think is a huge mistake).</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Up top, Spain has a healthy David Villa, their
all-time leading goalscorer. A healthy David Villa is a sure contender for the
Golden Boot. Then they have Fernando Torres, Pedro, and Diego Costa. Again, it’s
sickening how loaded Spain’s attack is. No one else can come close to Spain’s
attacking power.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">18. The
music of the World Cup</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
The rumor mill on the interwebs is unclear on
whether U2 will provide music for this World Cup. U2, the greatest band in the world,
and the band with the most lucrative tour in music history, did the music for
the 2006 and 2010 World Cups. But ESPN used Sigur Rós’s song “Festival” for a
promotion released last December, so some people think the Icelandic superstars
are the band for this tournament. I would be fine with either one. They’re both
world-class bands.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">19. Best
and Worst World Cup Jerseys</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
One of the great things about the World Cup is the
jerseys. You see the most talented players in the world wearing these great
uniforms, and then you go spend too much money buying the same jerseys—and they
don’t even give you the same powers! But, every World Cup, hope springs
eternal.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Best:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
1. Brazil home (classy yellow, color of champions)</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
2. Spain home (defending champions with crest)</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
3. Argentina home (the legendary and always
fashionable blue stripes on white)</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Worst:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
1. Spain away (nuclear green highlighter on black)</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
2. Mexico away (Charlie brown stripe)</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Undecided:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
1. Croatia home. Their tablecloth jerseys always
elicit a reaction. I’m never sure what it is.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
2. Belgium’s home jersey is odd. They have some faded
finger-print-and-freckle-shapes on the jersey. I’m confused</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">20. Isn’t Soccer
Boring?</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Many people who ask the question, or who say with
authority, “Soccer is boring!” are also baseball fans. This, I think you’ll
agree, eliminates all of their credibility.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Now, before you go labeling me as a baseball
hater, you should know that I enjoy baseball. I’ve been to dozens of Texas
Rangers games and watched minor league games in multiple states. I’ve been to
Busch Stadium and Wrigley Field. I like baseball. But it’s a slow, boring,
silly game if you don’t know what’s going on and you don’t understand the
technique and the strategy. </div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Soccer haters are ignorant of the athleticism,
strategy, and skill required to play the game.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Of course, it’s also easy to hate what you’re
afraid of—soccer haters may be afraid of the sport, because it is a rising
power in the United States. And the game in America will only be helped next
summer when the United States hosts the Copa America, the premier South
American tournament.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
But that’s next summer. This summer is now, and
the World Cup is less than 24 hours away.</div>
SteventheThornhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16901573914662306498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6277562326083982433.post-77183925417147946772014-06-10T14:51:00.001-05:002015-01-09T22:29:38.249-06:00World Cup 2014 Part 3<b>This post was originally a transcript of a <a href="https://soundcloud.com/steventhethorn">Soundcloud</a> podcast. That content is being moved to <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/SteventheThorn">YouTube</a>.</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">BLURB:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Why watch the World Cup? Because Ronaldo has great
hair and will take off his shirt when he scores. Who else should you watch? I’ll
tell you!</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
In this podcast, Steven highlights 5 players to
watch for the 2014 World Cup!</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Listen in and become an expert for those World Cup
Watch Parties!</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">INTRO:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Welcome to the SteventheThorn Podcast! You’re
listening to this podcast because I’m an authority on many things. Why am I an
authority on many things? Because I have glasses and a beard.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">RECAP:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
In our last podcast, I continued a four-episode
series on the Top 20 Things to Know About the 2014 World Cup. I gave some
definitive answers to some of soccer’s most difficult questions:</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Why soccer it called “soccer”?</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
What is handball?</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
What is offsides?</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
What are red and yellow cards?</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What’s a
group stage?</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">TODAY:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
I’m going to give you 5 players to watch in this
year’s tournament.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Player #1. </b>Cristiano
Ronaldo of Portugal. Ronaldo is currently the most talented human being hitting
a soccer ball on this planet. If you asked Ronaldo who the top 3 players in the
world are, he would say, “Ronaldo, Ronaldo, and Ronaldo.” No one else comes
close.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
He plays his club football for Real Madrid, one of
the best clubs in world history, and the current champions of Europe. In the
2013-2014 season, Ronaldo was the highest goalscorer in Spain. He has twice won
the FIFA Ballon D’Or for best footballer in the world. He has appeared in four Champions
League finals and won two. The list of his achievements goes on and on. Watch
some of his goals on YouTube.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Why should you watch Ronaldo? He’s the best soccer
player in the world. He’s also, unfortunately, going to play the United States
in their second group game. Portugal is nothing special without Ronaldo, but
with Ronaldo they are a team that could reach the quarterfinals. Cristiano
Ronaldo.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Ronaldo will be in the running for Best Hair of
the 2014 World Cup. Girls love to watch him because he sometimes rips off his
shirt when he scores. And he scores a lot, so the odds of him ripping off his
shirt are pretty high.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Player #2. </b>Lionel
Messi of Argentina. The other most talented human being hitting a soccer ball
on the planet. If Messi hadn’t been injured for much of last season, Ronaldo
might not have won the Ballon D’Or. Messi won the European and FIFA World
Player of the Year award in 2009, and he won the FIFA Ballon D’Or for three
years in a row in 2010, 2011, and 2012. Guess who came in second almost every
year during that period? That’s right, Cristiano Ronaldo. Messi and Ronaldo
have been battling multiple times each year since Manchester United and
Barcelona played in the Champions League semifinals of the 2007-2008 season,
when Ronaldo and Manchester United were victorious. Messi had the upperhand a
year later in the 2008-2009 final, when Barcelona beat Manchester United in the
Champions League final. Then Ronaldo moved to Real Madrid, and the two best
players in the world have been contending for La Liga titles, </div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Copa Del Rey finals, Champions League semifinals,
top goalscorer honors, and Ballon D’Or awards.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Messi doesn’t have the glamorous media appeal that
Ronaldo has, but the Argentine doesn’t need it. He’s a humble little man with
the speed, ball-handling skills, and shooting ability to put him among some of
the very best men to have ever played the game. Messi seems to average 2 goals
each game, whether he’s coming off the bench or not. The actual statistics are
slightly less, but the impression conveys his importance to his team and the
intimidation factor he carries against opponents. Many of the players he faces
in the World Cup will be honored just to step on the same field as Messi, and
some of them should probably ask for his autograph after the game. Messi is a
legend. This may be his year—and what a victory that would be: for Argentina to
win the World Cup on Brazilian soil.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Player #3. </b>Neymar
of Brazil. Neymar is Messi’s 22-year-old teammate on Barcelona. Neymar is
Ronaldo’s top contender for Best Haircut of the 2014 World Cup. Neymar is
carrying the weight of the greatest footballing nation on his shoulders: the hosts,
Brazil. There’s a lot of hype surrounding this young hotshot, and all of the
hype is legitimate. Neymar is the real deal. Last summer, he took the
Confederations Cup by force. The Confederations Cup takes place the year before
the World Cup. It includes the World Cup host nation and the champions of the
continental tournaments. Neymar’s young Brazilian team knocked off the two-time
European and World-champion Spanish teams in the Confederations Cup final.
While this legendary Spain team, one of the greatest national teams of all
time, is getting older, no one expected Brazil to dismantle Spain 3-0.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Neymar should carry Brazil deep into the
tournament, probably to the semifinals, possibly to the final.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
And Neymar should, one day, be winning the same
honors that Ronaldo and Messi have been winning: the Ballon D’Or, the
footballer of the year. He’s already a superstar, and this summer will be the biggest
spotlight of his life.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Player #4: </b>Luis
Suarez of Uruguay. He’s currently the most dangerous player in the English
Premier League, the world’s best and most competitive soccer league. Suarez
scored 31 goals in 35 games, and he’s not even Liverpool’s penalty kick taker.
Ronaldo and Messi both take penalties for their teams, but Suarez was scoring
heaps of goals from open play. Suarez also had 12 assists in the EPL. Unfortunately,
Suarez has a controversial reputation—and deservedly so. He has twice bitten an
opponent—that’s right, <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GopdzPxE2gk">bitten anopponent</a>—during a match. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GopdzPxE2gk">Biting people? That’s just disturbing.</a> Really.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Suarez’s controversy is more than just the biting.
The country of Ghana will always be mad at Suarez for blocking that shot in the
last World Cup. But I think any patriot would take a red card to help their
team. The referee gave him a red card, he accepted it, and that was it. It wasn’t
his fault Gyan missed the penalty kick. </div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
But the biting. That’s weird.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Nevertheless, Suarez is one of the best players in
the world—and after his performance with EPL runners-up Liverpool, some would
call him the most dangerous player in the world, even over Cristiano Ronaldo.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
This World Cup, Liverpool fans will be wishing
that Suarez wasn’t as good as he is, because Uruguay is in the same group as
England. I am sorry, England. And Joe Hart.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Player #5: </b>Mario
Balotelli of Italy. At 23 years-old, Balotelli is Italy’s most explosive and
inconsistent player. This man is as likely to score a hat-trick against
world-class competition as he is to talk himself into a second yellow card and
get sent off. His penalty-kick skills, long-range shots, danger in the air, and
sheer athleticism are astounding. But he’s unstable. If he can keep his cool,
the Italians will play him often and he can drive them into the semifinals with
his attacking power. But he gets flustered easily. Defenders, the Sergio
Ramoses of the world, will try to get under his skin and get his head out of
the game.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
But if this Super Mario is on, he’s on. Just watch
the highlights from the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPmG4kbLhiI">Germany-Italy game</a> in the EURO 2012. Frightening.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Balotelli is another player to watch for the
shirt-ripping-off. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TPmG4kbLhiI">And he’ll strike a pose too.</a></div>
SteventheThornhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16901573914662306498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6277562326083982433.post-13453380790968945382014-06-09T20:11:00.002-05:002015-01-09T22:30:42.032-06:00World Cup 2014 Part 2<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><b>This post was originally a transcript of a <a href="https://soundcloud.com/steventhethorn">Soundcloud</a> podcast. That content is being moved to <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/SteventheThorn">YouTube</a>.</b></b><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">BLURB:</b><br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Why is “soccer” called soccer? Steven answers this
question—and more!—in his second podcast about the 2014 FIFA World Cup. See him
cast wisdom on the following questions:</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
7. What is handball?</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
8. What is offsides?</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
9. What are red and yellow cards?</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
10. What’s a group stage?</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Listen in and become a soccer expert for those
World Cup Watch Parties!</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">INTRO:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Welcome to the SteventheThorn Podcast! You’re
listening to this podcast because I’m an authority on many things. Why am I an
authority on many things? Because I have glasses and a beard.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">RECAP:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
In our last podcast, I talked about the 2014 FIFA
World Cup in Brazil. We learned:</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
1. The FIFA World Cup is an international soccer
tournament which started following the success of EA Sports’ <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">FIFA 98</i> videogame.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
2. FIFA, the governing body of soccer, was named
after the videogame.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
3. The 2014 World Cup is in Brazil, which is one
of four countries in South America on the Risk world map.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
4. The United States might win the World Cup if
Lebron James played soccer.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
5. Landon Donovan is the United States’ and MLS’
all-time leading scorer, and he should have been on the USA World Cup roster.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">TODAY:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Now we continue our series on the Top 20 Things to
Know About the 2014 World Cup. Today we discuss 6-10.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">6. Why is
it called soccer?</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
To answer this question, I must first answer why
football is called football. Long, long ago, in a mythical land known as
Europe, rich people owned horses and land. They played games on horseback
whilst riding around their land. These games include such memorable sports as
polo, racing, fox-hunting, and Mount & Blade.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
The commoners could not afford horses. Therefore,
they played on foot. Technically, you could say that the rich people were
playing on foot too, but not their own feet. They were playing on the horse’s
feet. The commoners had to play on their own feet, and they devised many games
on their feet. They called these games “football” to distinguish them from the games
of the rich folk.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Football has always been the working man’s game.
You just need a ball, a flat space, and some French people to drag their feet
on instituting goal-line technology.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Many different kinds of football arose, such as
rugby football (rugby league and rugby union) and association football.
Association football is our modern-day soccer. Football. Calcio. Fussball.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
And, of course, American football follows in this
tradition. It has nothing to do with the amount of times you hit the ball with
your foot, but rather it’s all about the fact that the sport is played on foot.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Legend has it that someone abbreviated association
football into “soccer” by taking the “soc” from the word “association.” Then,
through some obscure etymological means, the word “soccer” stuck in Canada and
the US of A, but football replaced “association football” in Mother England.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
So basically, when the English whine about Yanks
calling soccer “soccer” and American football “football,” they have only
themselves to blame.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">7. What is
handball?</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Oh dear. So you’ve heard about that, have
you?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is more appropriately called
“handling the ball.” Allow me a brief read from the FIFA Laws of the game:</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
The point of the law is to prevent people from
playing the ball with their hands. It’s a difference between hand-to-ball and
ball-to-hand. If your hand is in an unnatural position and you hit the ball,
that’s a penalty. If your hand is pressed flat against your chest or your leg
and the ball just happens to hit it, that should not be a penalty.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Unfortunately, not all referees understand the
rule, and most other people don’t understand it either. But a few people do.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
No one understands the handling rule better than
Luis Suarez and the country of Ghana.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Just search <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDpx9GGH79I">Luiz Suarez handball vs Ghana onYouTube</a>. You’ll see what I mean.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">8. What is
offsides?</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
I will try to explain offsides in the most
confusing way possible. The spirit of the law is to prevent what is called
“poaching,” which is what the villain in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The
Rescuers Down Under </i>was trying to do to the golden eagle. The idea is that
we don’t want an attacking player of Team A to spend all of his time next to
Team B’s goal, chatting up the goalkeeper and distracting him until he grabs a
loose ball and buries it into the back of the old onion bag.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Three conditions must be met for a player to be in
offsides position:</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
a) The attacking player must be in the opposing
half of the field.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
2) The attacking player must be in front of the
ball.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
d) There must be fewer than two opposing players
between the attacker and the goal.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Therefore, in order for a player to remain <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">on</b>side (which is the place you want to
be), there must be two defenders between the attacker and the goal at the time a
ball is passed to the attacker.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
I’ll try to demonstrate it with my fingers here.
See? Here’s the goal, here’s the goalkeeper, here’s the defender, and here’s
the attacker level with the defender. The ball is passed to the attacker, he’s
onside. But if he’s over here, between the defender and the goalkeeper when the
ball is passed, he’s offside, got it?</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
I hope my visuals have been helpful.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">9. What are
red cards and yellow cards?</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
A yellow card is a caution. That means that the
referee has had enough of fouls and offensives from a certain player, so he’s
writing the player’s number down in a little book. If the player commits
another foul and receives a second yellow, the referee will then show a red
card. A red card is an ejection. The player must leave the game and will be
suspended for the next game.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Two yellow cards equals a red card.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
If a player receives a straight red, say for
knocking down a Ghanian shot on goal with his hands, then he will be suspended
for the next two games. More serious offenses receive longer suspensions.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
I would personally love to carry around red and
yellow cards for everyday life, so I could caution people and eject them as
needed.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">10. What’s
a group stage?</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
That’s a great question, citizen. As I mentioned
in the last podcast, the 32 teams are divided into 8 groups of 4. Each team
will play 3 games in group play, meaning that they play each of their group
opponents one time. The top two teams from each group will advance to the Round
of 16, where it’s one game elimination from then on. After the Round of 16 is
the Quarterfinals, then the Semifinals, and then the Third Place game and the
Final.</div>
SteventheThornhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16901573914662306498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6277562326083982433.post-80645685574078913852014-06-09T10:56:00.002-05:002015-01-09T22:30:44.550-06:00World Cup 2014 Part I<b>This post was originally a transcript of a <a href="https://soundcloud.com/steventhethorn">Soundcloud</a> podcast. That content is being moved to <a href="https://www.youtube.com/user/SteventheThorn">YouTube</a>.</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">BLURB:</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Welcome to the SteventheThorn Podcast—2014 World
Cup Edition! Steven is an authority on the World Cup because he has glasses and
a beard!</div>
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Steven starts a four-episode-series about the Top
20 Things to Know About the 2014 World Cup. In this episode, he answers the
following questions:</div>
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1. What is the FIFA World Cup?</div>
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2. What does FIFA mean?</div>
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3. Where is the World Cup?</div>
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4. Has the United States ever won the World Cup?</div>
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5. Who (and where) is Landon Donovan?</div>
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Listen in and become a soccer expert for those World
Cup Watch Parties!</div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">INTRO:</b></div>
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Welcome to the SteventheThorn Podcast! You’re
listening to this podcast because I’m an authority on many things. Why am I an
authority on many things? Because I have glasses and a beard.</div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">RECAP:</b></div>
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In our last podcast, I talked about unrealistic
standards of male beauty. I apologized for being the most attractive man in the
world, and I thanked all of the girls who keep me humble by keeping me in the
friendzone.</div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">TODAY:</b></div>
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Today we’re going to talk about the 2014 World
Cup. La Copa Mundial de dos mil catorce. There’s a lot of things I could say
about the World Cup, but these next four podcasts are dedicated to those
American listeners who will be watching soccer for the first time this summer.
I want to give you some World Cup history and answer some frequently asked
questions about soccer.</div>
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Why? Because I’m looking out for you. If you or
someone who love is planning to host a World Cup Watch Party on a weekend, or
on a night without the NBA Finals, I want you to hold up in conversations with
soccer experts…such as myself. And trust me, if you pay attention to what I’m
telling you, you will be a most entertaining conversation partner at any World
Cup Watch Party.</div>
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Following is the Top 20 Things to Know About the
2014 World Cup. Today we got over 1-5.</div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">1. What is
the FIFA World Cup?</b></div>
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The FIFA World Cup is an international soccer
tournament for the 32 countries in the world. The Americans started the World
Cup after the success of EA Sports’ <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">FIFA
98 </i>soccer game in 1998. The game was so successful that American soccer
player David Beckham thought, “Hey, we should have a real tournament like
this.” So the Americans asked South Korea to host the World Cup in 2002. After
the success of the 2002 World Cup, EA Sports decided to have the tournament
again every four years.</div>
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Germany hosted the World Cup in 2006, South Africa
hosted the World Cup in 2010, and Brazil is hosting the World Cup this year in
2014.</div>
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Some people will tell you that the 2014 World Cup
is actually the 20th World Cup in history, and that David Beckham is a English
soccer player. But then again, some people think that Africa is one country,
and that there’s such a thing as a British accent.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">2. What
does FIFA mean?</b></div>
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FIFA is a word that EA Sports invented because
calling a soccer game <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">98</i> sounded less
interesting than <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">FIFA 98</i>. Since that
time, some French people got together, borrowed the name, and ordained
themselves the governing body of soccer.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Some people will tell you that FIFA stands for
Federation Internationale de Football Association, or International Federation
of Association Football, and that FIFA predated the EA Sports game. </div>
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But as Abraham Lincoln once said, “You can’t
believe everything you read on the internet.”</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">3. Where is
the World Cup?</b></div>
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Brazil is hosting the 2014 World Cup. Where is
Brazil? Well, if you take the look at a Risk world map, you’ll see that Brazil
is one of four countries on the continent of South America. Brazil is on the
east coast, and it has a direct route to North Africa in Africa. The other
countries in South America are Argentina, Peru, and Venezuela.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">4. Has the
United States ever won the World Cup?</b></div>
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Unfortunately not. Many people think that the
United States could have won the last World Cup if Lebron James had played. If
Lebron decides to take his talents to Brazil, the United States’ would
certainly have a better chance of getting out of the group stage. Unfortunately
for the United States, Lebron is busy playing for the Miami Heat in the NBA
Finals. Unfortunately for Lebron and the Miami Heat—but fortunately for the
rest of America—the San Antonio Spurs are currently winning the NBA Finals.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">5. Who (and
where) is Landon Donovan?</b></div>
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Landon Donovan is one of the oldest active soccer
players on the United States national team. He is the United States’ all-time
leading scorer. He is currently the all-time leading scorer in Major League
Soccer (which is the top professional soccer league in the United States, in
case you didn’t know that we had a league).</div>
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You will probably hear the announcers talk about
Landon Donovan during the USA games. But he won’t be playing because USA head
coach Jurgen Klinsmann (who is from Germany) left Donovan off the 23-man USA
squad.</div>
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Why? Well, naturally, as a 32-year-old and the
United States’ all-time leading scorer and the MLS all-time leading scorer,
Donovan is too old to play for the United States. You gotta leave the World Cup
to the young guys. Where would your team be if you lead old people play?
Imagine where the Spurs would be if they let Tim Duncan, Manu Ginobili, and
Tony Parker play? In fact, how <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">are </i>the
Spurs doing?</div>
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Oh, wait. They’re in the finals. And they beat the
Heat last night.</div>
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Forget what I just said. Leaving Donovan off the
roster was a stupid idea.</div>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">"If I Plan It, She Will Come"</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">By Steven Thorn © 2014</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I’m twenty-three, no Ph. D</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">My mom says “No” to arranging me</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A wedding day, so what to do?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So I will do the only thing</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It’s in my hands like a wedding ring</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">No girlfriend yet, but know I will—I
will</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">(I’m singing)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">If I plan my wedding day</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">She will come and marry me</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Welcome to my wedding, to my wedding</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Welcome to my wedding, to my wedding</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Whoa, whoa, it’s nice to meet you, can
you say “I do”?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Whoa, whoa, it’s nice to meet you, can
you say “I do”?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I started plans</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A year ago</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Some people thought it was just a joke</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">And some girls thought it was for them</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">No</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The single girls</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Will get in line</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“It’s nice to meet you”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“Oh, the pleasure’s mine”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The wedding day</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A free-for-all</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Yeah</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">(I’m singing)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">If I plan my wedding day</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">She will come and marry me</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Welcome to my wedding, to my wedding</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Welcome to my wedding, to my wedding</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Whoa, whoa, it’s nice to meet you, can
you say “I do”?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Whoa, whoa, it’s nice to meet you, can
you say “I do”?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Kevin Costner did it with some land</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A wife will appear, if I this wedding
plan</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">(I’m singing)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">If I plan my wedding day</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">She will come and marry me</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Welcome to my wedding, to my wedding</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Welcome to my wedding, to my wedding</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Whoa, whoa, it’s nice to meet you, can
you say “I do”?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Whoa, whoa, it’s nice to meet you, can
you say “I do”?</span></div>
SteventheThornhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16901573914662306498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6277562326083982433.post-68737446975890870072014-01-14T09:46:00.002-06:002015-01-09T17:28:00.923-06:00"No Dating For Me" at Mr. Gaylord Pageant 2013Steven Thorn wins "Best Talent" at the 2013 Mr. Gaylord Pageant with his hit song, "No Dating For Me."<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/F-HAT8ZtLis" width="420"></iframe>
</div>
<br />
<b>"No Dating For Me"</b><br />
By Steven Thorn (c) 2013<br />
<br />
Do you know what it's like?<br />
To have a mom like mine?<br />
She said no dating for me<br />
Until I'm 30 or I've received a Ph.D<br />
<br />
I said, "Mom, what about in high school?"<br />
She said, "Steven, that just wouldn't be cool."<br />
I said, "Mom what about in college?"<br />
She said, "Steven, you'll be too focused on knowledge."<br />
<br />
No dating for me<br />
Until I'm 30 or I've received a Ph.D<br />
No wedding for me<br />
Unless a girl and I just pick up and flee<br />
Which is actually my dad's advice to me<br />
<br />
Well, you might think it's all for fun<br />
Until you saw my mom's loaded shotgun<br />
Trained upon some unsuspecting girls<br />
Who had just stopped to admire my curls<br />
<br />
While my heart has fallen many times<br />
My mom manages to keep me in line<br />
She just won't let me get over the wall<br />
I'm like the princess who can't go to the ball<br />
<br />
No dating for me<br />
Until I'm 30 or I've received a Ph.D<br />
No wedding for me<br />
Unless a girl and I just pick up and flee<br />
Which is actually my dad's advice to me<br />
<br />
Mommy wants to keep me at home<br />
She deletes girl contacts on my phone<br />
No conversations with pretty girls at all<br />
Because Mommy always stalks the posts on my Facebook wall<br />
<br />
Well I know that I'm supercute<br />
But I just want to avoid a dispute<br />
The gift of singleness has been given to me<br />
Until I'm 30 or I've received a Ph.D<br />
<br />
No dating for me<br />
Until I'm 30 or I've received a Ph.D<br />
No wedding for me<br />
Unless a girl and I just pick up and flee<br />
Which is actually my dad's advice to me<br />
<br />
...and sadly I don't want a Ph.D <br />
<br />
*<br />
<br />
See the original <a href="http://steventhethorn.blogspot.com/2012/03/no-dating-for-me.html">"No Dating For Me"</a> performance and on my <a href="http://www.youtube.com/steventhethorn">SteventheThorn YouTube Channel</a>.SteventheThornhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16901573914662306498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6277562326083982433.post-24390419773980301282013-09-10T16:29:00.000-05:002013-11-14T18:41:48.778-06:00The 12th Year Anniversary of 9/11 and a Story of HopeToday I was reflecting on the horrors of 9/11, and
how that event has shaped the course of world history in the last 12 years.<br />
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
My generation has grown up in the aftermath of
9/11.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Our brothers, sisters, and friends are the ones
fighting the war that has lasted more than a decade. We all remember where we
were when we got the news about the Twin Towers and the Pentagon. Some of us
watched the towers fall on live television.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
That historic act of evil happened on September
11, 2001. But countless acts of heroism followed in the rescue attempts and the
recovery.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
A few months later, on December 19, 2001, <i>The
Fellowship of the Ring</i> was released in theaters.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
For some people, that fact is insignificant.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
But for much of my generation, <i>The Lord of the
Rings</i> is THE narrative that has shaped our lives, particularly in the last 12
years. It is the fictional framework through which we have interpreted and
endured our personal triumphs, tragedies, heartbreaks, and eucatastrophes. It
is THE story of faith, love, friendship, and hope in the midst of utter despair
and pure evil.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
I watched <i>The Fellowship of the Ring </i>for the
first time on January 1, 2002. Even at the time, as an 11 year-old boy, I
remember reflecting on how timely it was that this tale, one of the greatest
ever told, should be released in theaters during one of the darkest hours of
American, and potentially world, history.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
As a 22 year-old about to turn 23 this October, I
can say that <i>The Lord of the Rings</i> carries even more emotional, moral, and
spiritual weight than it did when I was 11.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
As my late, beloved Dr. Fears always said, great
books speak across the ages, and they speak to you today.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
As I mourn 9/11 on the 12th anniversary, <i>The Lord
of the Rings</i> continues to speak to me today in a very powerful way. It reminds
me that “there’s some good in this world…and it’s worth fighting for.” It
renews my hope for the Eucatastrophe of Eucatastrophes: the final, ultimate
triumph over evil at the very moment when all hope is lost.</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
Thanks for reading.</div>
SteventheThornhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16901573914662306498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6277562326083982433.post-67297808522026783482013-02-14T15:17:00.000-06:002013-02-14T15:17:21.935-06:00"Selfishness Will Kill Communication" by Ben WhitingBen Whiting, a good friend, recently published <a href="http://paperaltar.wordpress.com/2013/02/13/b41-your-communication-depends-on-your-audience-too/">this excellent blog post on selfishness and communication</a>.<br />
<br />
Here's a quote from his introduction:<br />
<br />
<em>Growing up in a family with four siblings, I’ve been in my share of
arguments over what he or she “meant.” Those arguments often end this
way–the speaker ends up pointing out his good intentions. “That isn’t
what I meant.” And then the listener insists, “Well, it is what you said.”</em>
<br />
<i>One person is focused on the objective meaning of the words, and the
other is focused on the subjective meaning that was intended for those
words. Surely one stance is right and one is wrong. </i><br />
<br />
<i>Right?</i><br />
<i>
</i><br />
<i>Wrong.</i><br />
<br />
<i>* </i><br />
I urge you to read the rest of Ben's post.<br />
<br />
I certainly needed it. SteventheThornhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16901573914662306498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6277562326083982433.post-24146290690531203382013-02-12T17:30:00.000-06:002013-02-12T17:34:16.186-06:00Thanks, Spencer PlumleeI received some bittersweet news this past Sunday. Spencer Plumlee, the Grow Pastor (and formerly the college minister) at Southcliff Baptist Church in Fort Worth, Texas, is leaving to become the senior pastor at Riverview Baptist in Osage Beach, Missouri.<br />
<br />
That announcement got me thinking*, and when I get to thinking, I usually get to writing.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">*And crying. I might have cried too.</span><br />
<br />
I started going to Southcliff with my parents on Easter Sunday of 2009, the spring of my senior year. This change in churches came at an already unsettling time for me. I was about to graduate high school, make my college decision, and possibly move away from home. Then my parents switched churches and I had a big change before the other big change.<br />
<br />
I didn’t want to join Southcliff’s youth group only to leave it in a couple of months, so I attended the college group.<br />
<br />
And there I met Spencer.<br />
<br />
I can’t remember how Spencer would introduce himself, but I do remember how he always used to introduce his wife:<br />
“This is my beautiful wife, Shelley.”<br />
<br />
I also remember Spencer’s hair. He had (still does) this great hairdo that kinda sticks up in the front.<br />
If I could pull off that hairstyle, I would. But I am not Spencer.<br />
<br />
Spencer caught my attention with his captivating teaching, his extensive knowledge, and his genuine passion for knowing Jesus. <br />
<br />
I can remember some of the great lessons (and sermons) that Spencer taught, but there are three particular <b>Spencer Plumlee-isms</b> that encapsulate his legacy to me. (That’s convenient, because three is an easy number to remember, and it makes for a tidy blog post.)<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>1. Read your Bible every day.</b></span><br />
<br />
Spencer would always say, “If you commit to reading your Bible every day, I promise you that it will change your life.”<br />
<br />
This must be the battle-cry of youth pastors, college ministers, and pastors from time immemorial.<br />
<br />
Please, kids—congregation—read your Bible.<br />
<br />
I heard it before Spencer, and I have heard it since. I have not followed this advice to the letter, but when I have read the Bible every day for weeks at a time—months at a time—I see life-changing benefits.<br />
<br />
When you read the Bible every day, you will <i>naturally </i>be led into prayer, evangelism, service, repentance, maturity, sanctification, humility—the list goes on. Those are all things that Christians need and should want for their lives.<br />
<br />
I see the life-change that Spencer talked about when I read my Bible every day, because we believe that it is more than just an anthology of books and letters. We believe it’s the Word of God.<br />
<br />
Thanks, Spencer.<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>2. When you go to college, plug into a church immediately.</b></span><br />
<br />
In the summer of 2009, before I moved to Norman, Oklahoma, Spencer told me to find a church there and commit to it.<br />
<br />
Don’t “shop around” for a semester.<br />
Don’t “wait until you get settled in.”<br />
Don’t let a few months pass before you darken a church door.<br />
<br />
I don’t think I was in too much danger of not finding a church, but Spencer exhorted me to find a church and plug in.<br />
<br />
So I did. And the resulting rewards, joys, and pleasures are too numerous to count.<br />
<br />
On Sunday, June 21, 2009 (Father’s Day), my parents and I attended Trinity Baptist Church* in Norman, Oklahoma. We were up at OU for the weekend so I could enroll in classes**.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">*Pastor Carroll Marr of Southcliff recommended Trinity to my parents and me.<br /><br />**That weekend, I met Travis Kuehler, my first friend at OU. We have been very close friends for four years, and we both go to Trinity and the Baptist Student Union (Paradigm).</span><br />
<br />
I wanted a church that proclaimed the gospel of Jesus Christ, preached the Bible as the Word of God, and had loving people.<br />
<br />
I walked into the Trinity college group and immediately met some great, friendly people, including Grant Keeter, Josh Malone, Jeff Growe, Aaron Hoffman, Jared Haines, and Paul Zimmerman.<br />
<br />
My prayer for a good church was answered immediately. Trinity fit all my criteria.<br />
<br />
I told Josh at lunch: “Well, I think I’m going to come to Trinity.”<br />
Josh was surprised (and, perhaps, amused). “That didn’t take long.”<br />
<br />
It didn’t. But I never had to visit another church. I’ve been going to Trinity all four years at OU.<br />
<br />
Not everyone finds the right church immediately. But I took Spencer’s words to heart and joined an imperfect church of imperfect people who, like me, are saved by Jesus.<br />
<br />
Don’t shop around. Find a church and commit to it.<br />
<br />
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I have passed this advice along to many younger
guys. A few have followed it. Many have not.</div>
<br />
I have reaped the benefits of this advice: the Body of Christ at Trinity has provided me with dear friends who have helped to carry me through the most difficult years of my life.<br />
<br />
Spencer played a part by encouraging me to find a church and commit to it.<br />
<br />
Thanks, Spencer.<br />
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>3. Romans 5:8</b></span><br />
<i>“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”</i><br />
<br />
This isn't a Spencer Plumlee-ism, it's just one of his favorite verses.<br />
<br />
In this passage, the Apostle Paul explains that you and I were lost in sin. We had broken God’s commandments, we were enemies of God, BUT GOD <i>demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.</i><br />
<br />
The penalty for breaking God’s law is death, but Jesus Christ took our place and suffered our punishment when He was crucified. Then Jesus rose from the dead, and those who believe in Him have eternal life (John 3:16, Romans 6:23).<br />
<br />
When I think of Spencer, I think of this verse, and therefore of the gospel, and therefore of Jesus Christ.<br />
<br />
Thanks, Spencer.<br />
<br />
<br />
As you said to my parents and me on Sunday morning, you got to share a season of life with us.<br />
<br />
As I said, you were instrumental in my life during a pivotal time: high school to college.<br />
<br />
You taught me, you preached to me, you talked with me, and you prayed for me.<br />
<br />
God bless you, your family, and your ministry.SteventheThornhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16901573914662306498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6277562326083982433.post-90263067357420590872013-01-19T20:55:00.003-06:002013-01-19T21:05:51.216-06:00Divine Intervention, Lot, Abimelech, and Salvation Rape<b>a. </b>I've been reading through the Book of Genesis for my Bible as Literature class at the University of Oklahoma.<br />
<b>2.</b> I have heard that camels spit.<br />
<b>d. </b>It is easier to poke a camel in the eye with a needle than to enter the kingdom of heaven.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>This Part Is Funny But Irrelevant</b></span></div>
<br />
I like the Book of Genesis because it has the story of Abraham sending his servant to get a wife for Isaac, Abraham's son. The servant prays that God will send the right woman to a well while the servant waters his camels. Enter Rebekah, who provides water for the servant and his camels. The servant praises God and gives Rebekah a nose ring and some golden bracelets.<br />
<br />
I regularly walk around the University of Oklahoma looking for a well (holding the leash for my camels in one hand and holding a nose ring and some golden bracelets in the other) so I can find a wife.<br />
<br />
I have, as yet, been unsuccessful. One of my problems is that I don't know of any wells at OU.<br />
<br />
My biggest problem is that I don't have a servant.<br />
<br />
But this blog post isn't about Isaac and Rebekah. It's not about nose rings either.<br />
<br />
The real blog post starts...<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
...now.</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Divine Intervention, Lot, Abimelech, and Salvation Rape</b></span></div>
<br />
Today I was struck by two passages from Genesis: one about Lot, and the other about King Abimelech. <br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><b>Lot</b></span> </div>
<br />
In Genesis 19, God destroys the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah because of their wickedness. <br />
<br />
Before the judgment, God sent three men (angels) to Sodom to rescue Lot and his family from Sodom. God did this for Abraham's sake, since Abraham pleaded for the lives of the few righteous in chapter 18.<br />
<br />
Before fire and brimstone falls onto the cities, the angels tell Lot to leave <br />
<br />
<b>Genesis 19:15-16</b> <br />
<br />
<i>When morning dawned, the angels urged Lot, saying, "Up, take your wife and your two daughters who are here, or you will be swept away in the punishment of the city." </i><br />
<i>But he hesitated. So the men seized his hand and the hand of his wife and the hands of his two daughters, for the compassion of the LORD was upon him; and they brought him out, and put him outside the city. </i><br />
<br />
I love how the passages says that "the compassion of the LORD was upon [Lot]." God was looking out for Lot.<br />
<br />
Lot "hesitated," even though he knew Sodom was about to be destroyed.<br />
He was reluctant to leave. He probably still loved the city.<br />
<br />
But God* intervened and the men <b>seized</b> Lot and his family and brought them out of the city.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">*"But God" are tw<span style="font-size: x-small;">o of the greatest words </span>in scriptur<span style="font-size: x-small;">e. </span></span><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Bad things, bad things, <i>But God</i>. </span></span></span>See Romans 5:<span style="font-size: x-small;">8.</span></span></span><br />
<br />
This passage made me think of "salvation rape," which is an awful phrase that someone came up with to describe the idea that God would save someone who didn't want to be saved.<br />
<br />
Romans 5:8 is one of many scriptures illustrating the fact that God saves people who don't want to be saved, who hate God and want nothing to do with God. However, the fact remains that some people think that God will not infringe on a person's right to choose their own fate.<br />
<br />
Happily for Lot, God infringed on his free will and dragged him out of the city, saving his life. What happened immediately after this salvation was a series of unfortunate events for Lot's family, but that was due to <i>their </i>decisions (more bad ones) and not God's. God had already done a lot to get them out of the city.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Abimelech</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Genesis 20 sees a familiar story in the life of Abraham. The situation is a rerun of what happened when Abraham visited Egypt in Genesis 12.<br />
<br />
The gist of the story: <br />
<b>a. </b>Abraham visits a country.<br />
<b>2. </b>The locals notify the king that Abraham has a pretty wife, Sarah.<br />
<b>d. </b>Abraham claims that Sarah is his sister.<br />
<b>III. </b>Abraham gives her to the king, Abimelech, rather face the possibility of being killed for her</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b>Genesis 20:2-6</b> </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>Abraham said of Sarah his wife, "She is my sister." So Abimelech king of Gerar sent and took Sarah. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>But God came to Abimelech in a dream of the night, and said to him, "Behold, you are a dead man because of the woman whom you have taken, for she is married." </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>Now Abimelech had not come near her; and he said, "Lord, will You slay a nation, even though blameless? </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>"Did he not himself say to me, 'She is my sister'? And she herself said, 'He is my brother.' In the integrity of my heart and the innocence of my hands I have done this."</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>Then God said to him in the dream, "Yes, I know that in the integrity of your heart you have done this, and I also kept you from sinning against Me; therefore I did not let you touch her. </i><br />
<i>"Now therefore, restore the man's wife, for he is a prophet, and he will
pray for you and you will live. But if you do not restore her, know that you shall surely die, you and all who are yours." </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Read the rest of the passage to find that Abimelech returns Sarah to Abraham (spoiler, sorry), gives him many gifts, and scorns Abraham for nearly bringing the wrath of God upon the kingdom.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
The verse that popped out to me was 20:6, in which God says "I also kept you from sinning against Me."<br />
<br />
We often say that God won't stop us from making bad decisions.<br />
<br />
<i>God has given us a brain and He expects us to use it.</i><br />
<br />
Sometimes the implication is that God lets us do what we will, and then He'll arrive to pass judgment after the fact.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
But sometimes He intervenes - to save us from disaster, and to save us from ourselves.<br />
<br />
Ponder that, if you will. </div>
SteventheThornhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16901573914662306498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6277562326083982433.post-64096939214795165602013-01-02T17:29:00.000-06:002015-01-09T17:49:43.567-06:00Hogfather by Terry PratchettOver Christmas I read Terry Pratchett's <i>Hogfather</i>, a hilarious seasonal story in which the Hogfather (Discworld's version of Santa Claus) goes missing. And not just missing - but <b><i>almost-dead</i></b>. <span style="font-size: xx-small;">(It's sort of complicated.)</span><br />
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyPk5_Uy2klCl1c2-k0wtuwjOPYw-tGLRW_32CUEbzjLR8fP0si2izRTppY9z3KP_wMNnTmNcP_bgYKIgO9UnOTfCCECNC3POZDJDXuJIPjZQq5GljwFtDqbV6-f7lN405Gco6he7wcAM/s1600/hogfather-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyPk5_Uy2klCl1c2-k0wtuwjOPYw-tGLRW_32CUEbzjLR8fP0si2izRTppY9z3KP_wMNnTmNcP_bgYKIgO9UnOTfCCECNC3POZDJDXuJIPjZQq5GljwFtDqbV6-f7lN405Gco6he7wcAM/s1600/hogfather-2.jpg" height="320" width="208" /></a></div>
<br />
Here's the gist of it:<br />
<br />
<b>a)</b> Evil villains can destroy the Hogfather forever if they can get everyone to stop believing in him.<br />
<b>2)</b> No Hogfather means no Hogswatch*!<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">*The Christmas and Yuletime celebration of Discworld</span><br />
<br />
<br />
The Hogfather is out of action. The presents need to be deliver.<br />
Who could step in to take the Hogfather's place?<br />
<br />
Why, Death, of course.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: x-small;">COWER, BRIEF MORTALS. HO. HO. HO.</span></b></div>
<br />
Death enlists the help of his butler, Albert, to help him deliver presents on Hogswatchnight* to all the good little boys and girls in Ankh-Morpork. He even makes an appearance at a mall, listens to what the kiddies want for Hogswatch, and urges each little boy and girl to be good.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><b>THAT IS, AFTER ALL, PART OF THE ARRANGEMENT.</b></span></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">*Christmas Eve. You've caught on by now, right?</span><br />
<br />
But everything isn't all sugar canes and mistletoe. The sinister forces at work to destroy the Hogfather will do the same to Death, if they can.<br />
<br />
Fortunately, Death's granddaughter, Susan*, figures that Something Is Up and brings her wits, bravery, common sense, and poker** to the rescue.<br />
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">*Yes, Death's gra<span style="font-size: xx-small;">nddaughter. <span style="font-size: xx-small;">I</span></span>t's complicated?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">**A fireplace poker, not a card game. </span><br />
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And for our entertainment, the Death of Rats*** joins the adventure too. Along with his steed, a raven.<br />
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">***Want to know how the Death of Rats came to be? You have another reason to read <a href="http://steventhethorn.blogspot.com/2012/11/reaper-man.html">Reaper Man</a>.</span><br />
<br />
If Death and Susan can't stop the villains from stealing everyone's belief and destroying the Hogfather, there will be no happy faces on Hogswatch morning.<br />
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Oh...and the sun might not rise either.SteventheThornhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16901573914662306498noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6277562326083982433.post-74730553817065671242012-12-26T15:48:00.001-06:002015-01-09T17:50:26.392-06:00The Fifth Elephant by Terry PratchettAfter going out of reading order, I finally read <i>The Fifth Elephant</i> by Terry Pratchett.<br />
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Like <a href="http://steventhethorn.blogspot.com/2012/09/jingo.html"><i>Jingo</i></a> and <a href="http://steventhethorn.blogspot.com/2012/07/grave-mercy-and-monstrous-regiments.html"><i>Monstrous Regiment</i></a>, <i>The Fifth Elephant </i>is Discworld story involving political intrigue and the looming threat of war. Lord Vetinari, Carrot, Angua, and - of course - Sam Vimes will have to save the day.<br />
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<br />
The hilarious Leonardo da Quirm (Discworld's Da Vinci - he doodles perfect circles and invent airplanes while daydreaming) also makes an appearance, as do Nobby Nobbs and Sergeant Colon.<br />
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Vimes is sent as an ambassador to Überwald, a realm of dwarves, vampires, werewolves, and Igors*. Vimes's official job is to negotiate favorable trade terms for fat**. Vimes tells his wife that this political outing will be a vacation. However, Vimes's real mission is to have a firsthand look at the tenuous political situation involving the crowning of the new Low King of the Dwarves.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">*Igors are humpbacked humanoids made from the sewn-together parts of those who have shed their earthly bonds. They tend to find employment with vampires, werewolves, and mad scientists. Igors make great doctors and medics, as they have no difficulty restoring a severed hand to an arm (provided you can find it, of course) and have an excellent working knowledge of the human body. Bodies can go far if you take care of 'em and use 'em right. "Waste not, want not," as the Igors say.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">**When the Fifth Elephant<span style="font-size: xx-small;">***</span> fell from the sky and crashed into the young Discworld, it burrowed deep into the ground and left huge deposits of fat and other precious materials. Fat is a huge part of Überwald's economy.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">***Everyone knows that there were supposed to be five elephants on the back of the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A%27Tuin#Chelys_Galactica">Great Turtle A'Tuin</a>.</span><br />
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Standing in Vimes's way (or standing behind him in the dark with a knife) are mysterious figures who oppose the new Low King. The Scone of Stone, the great symbol of the dwarfish monarchy, has been stolen, and the Low King cannot be crowned without the Scone. The Scone isn't the only thing that's gone missing. An Ankh-Morpork citizen has been murdered, posts are deserted and soldiers killed, and some of Vimes's own men go missing. Then Vimes himself is targeted...and the treacherous dwarves, vampires, and werewolves of Überwald do not play by Ankh-Morpork rules.<br />
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Here, there is no law.<br />
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Meanwhile, this political trip is a homecoming for Angua, the City Watch werewolf, whose parents are nobility in Überwald. It also <i>might</i> be a reunion with a former boyfriend, making things awkward for Captain Carrot - who, as usual, will have no problem getting along with <i>everyone</i>. No problem at all.<br />
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Meanwhile-while, Sergeant Colon is left in charge of the Watch while Vimes and Carrot are away. Let's hope the power doesn't go to his head. And the entire Watch doesn't go on strike.<br />
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<i>The Fifth Elephant</i> was an entertaining read. I give it a 6/10.SteventheThornhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16901573914662306498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6277562326083982433.post-12273993902429890572012-11-22T00:15:00.002-06:002012-11-22T00:17:57.650-06:00For the SenderTonight I was reading <a href="https://www.taylorguitars.com/wood-and-steel">Taylor Guitar's Wood and Steel Magazine</a>, and I came across a touching article about a musician named <a href="http://www.alexwoodard.com/">Alex Woodard</a> and a ground-breaking project called <a href="http://www.forthesender.com/">For the Sender</a>.<br />
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<br />
This project really catches my attention because:<br />
<b>1)</b> I think it's heartfelt, honest, sincere, powerful, moving - everything that art and expression should be.<br />
<b>2)</b> It's <i>brilliant</i> from a community, social-networking perspective; it's art for the 21st century, where you have to develop a relationship with your audience.<br />
<b>3)</b> <a href="http://www.jonforeman.com/">Jon Foreman</a> is involved. (You know who he is, right?)<br />
<br />
I'll briefly summarize the story, but you can download the issue through the Taylor website - and you really should read it. (Also read the <a href="http://www.forthesender.com/author-alex-woodard/">author page on the website</a>.)<br />
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In 2008, Woodard going through a rough patch in his music career and personal life. He wondered if there might be an "expiration date" on his dreams of making it (something that looks every aspiring and professional artist in the face).<br />
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When his most recent CD was about to be released, Woodard promised to record a unique song for everyone who pre-ordered the album. He would write the songs on whatever they wanted it to be on. As a result, he wrote over 100 individual songs.<br />
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This experience exposed Woodard to some heartbreaking stories of tragedy, loss, and perseverance - the death of a policeman, father, and husband; suffering and relief after the earthquake in Haiti; the death of a woman's soulmate.<br />
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Woodard developed a relationship by mail with some of the people who really appreciated his songs. Then he started writing songs with other musicians based on the stories. He was in the San Diego area at the time, and one of the musicians he began to work with was <a href="http://www.jonforeman.com/">Jon Foreman</a>: frontman of <a href="http://www.switchfoot.com/">Switchfoot</a> and personal hero of mine.<br />
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Working like this with other musicians, writing songs and letting other people sing them - this was outside of Woodward's musical comfort zone. But it produced huge blessings - both creatively and personally.<br />
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This music-in-community gave rise to the book, album, and concert event that is <a href="http://www.forthesender.com/">For the Sender</a>.<br />
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There's much more to say, but you really must check it out on your own.<br />
<br />
Reading this article came at a great time for me.<br />
<br />
Every night and morning, I think (or "worry") about my artistic career - and the expiration date. I'm a published author and an aspiring musician looking at a man who's been plying his guitar trade for a while and hit a rough spot. And then, after opening up his heart and singing for other people, found his music and life heading in a different - and more wonderful - direction than he could have imagined.<br />
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Additionally, I've been thinking a lot about music-in-community recently: producing great works that you could never do on your own power and creativity; creative important art (with personal and eternal value) with like-minded people.<br />
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It's exciting - so exciting that I had to blog about it before I could move on with my life. SteventheThornhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16901573914662306498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6277562326083982433.post-32351930098549547522012-11-12T09:22:00.000-06:002012-11-12T09:22:03.081-06:00The Storyboarder PodcastLast week Jelani Sims and Darren Jaworski invited me onto their awesome <a href="https://es.twitter.com/TheStoryboarder">Storyboarder Podcast</a>. On this episode, Jelani and I discuss:<br /><br />a) How I developed and wrote my novel<br />2) The writing and creative process<br />d) Terry Pratchett, the TRON: Legacy soundtrack, Oxford, and other influences<br />
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://soundcloud.com/the-story-boarder/episode-6-storyboarder-podcast">Episode 6 - Storyboarder Podcast</a></span> </div>
SteventheThornhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16901573914662306498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6277562326083982433.post-65254032345838946882012-11-09T12:14:00.000-06:002015-01-09T17:49:51.935-06:00Reaper Man by Terry Pratchett<div style="font-family: inherit;">
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<div class="MsoNormalCxSpFirst">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;">On
Terry Pratchett’s Discworld, the gods come into existence when people believe
in them. Similarly, Death manifests itself as the Grim Reaper because people
believe Death is a skeleton, in a hooded black cloak, with a scythe.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwXzrzPD9gw_xnE6rLs6wFn70kYJggX8szFAljUKQw55fT_u7pJebrRbtzXwD_NxfcGl3TcdmZLEgST3Ncvi78ekyYIrwgmkqTE1yNiALgKcKobiJKDGwlaZnpj654pije3M2ZxmecAMI/s1600/reaperman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwXzrzPD9gw_xnE6rLs6wFn70kYJggX8szFAljUKQw55fT_u7pJebrRbtzXwD_NxfcGl3TcdmZLEgST3Ncvi78ekyYIrwgmkqTE1yNiALgKcKobiJKDGwlaZnpj654pije3M2ZxmecAMI/s1600/reaperman.jpg" height="320" width="189" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">In
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Reaper Man</i>, the Powers That Be have
relieved Death of his duty on the grounds that Death has become too sympathetic
of his clients (us: the dying and the dead).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">They
send Death off with his hourglass* and let him keep his horse, Binky. For the
first time in his existence, Death has a life, and for the first time in his
life, Death has Time.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">And
he’s going to spend it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">But
first he has to get a job.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: xx-small;">*Do
you get the joke? He’s been a faithful employee so they send him off with his <i>hourglass</i>. It’s hilarious.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Soon
after, a tall dark stranger appears on a farm in the country. It’s harvest
time, he’s looking for work...and he’s good with a scythe.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Meanwhile,
chaos runs through the City of Ankh-Morpork. Death (an important public service)
is gone, so the dead are queuing up in the increasingly crowded space between
this world and the next.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Windle
Poons, a 130 year-old wizard from Unseen University, has been waiting to die
and reincarnate for a long time. (So has the faculty member waiting to take
Windle’s room.) But without Death to escort him to the afterlife, Windle Poons
just...comes back.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">As
a corpse.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span class="gc-message-sms-text" style="font-family: inherit;">“No wonder the undead were
traditionally considered to be very angry.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span class="gc-message-sms-text" style="font-family: inherit;">Windle must adjust to his new (un)life
by:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span class="gc-message-sms-text" style="font-family: inherit;">a) Attending a support group for
the undead.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span class="gc-message-sms-text" style="font-family: inherit;">2) Enduring the antics of his
kind academic colleagues, who help him out by repeatedly trying to kill him</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span class="gc-message-sms-text" style="font-family: inherit;">d) Suffer the influx of
poltergeist activity and other phenomenon resulting from Death’s absence.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span class="gc-message-sms-text" style="font-family: inherit;">And a sinister power is feeding
on this new energy...and growing within the city.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="gc-message-sms-text"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Reaper
Man</i></span><span class="gc-message-sms-text"> is an entertaining story that fires on all
Pratchett cylinders - save one.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span class="gc-message-sms-text" style="font-family: inherit;">Firing cylinders:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span class="gc-message-sms-text" style="font-family: inherit;">a) The premise is hilarious and
the execution is brilliant</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span class="gc-message-sms-text" style="font-family: inherit;">2) Death’s life as a human
provides a humorous and profound angle on the human condition (<span style="font-variant: small-caps;">This is what pain feels like? How do you keep
living when you’re just going to die? Are you tricking me into drinking an
alcoholic beverage for your personal amusement?)</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span class="gc-message-sms-text" style="font-family: inherit;">d) Death is simply one of the
best characters on Discworld</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span class="gc-message-sms-text" style="font-family: inherit;">The “save one”:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span class="gc-message-sms-text" style="font-family: inherit;">While the Windle Poons storyline
is humorous (especially with the antics of the Unseen University faculty), the
silliness-level goes out of control - á la <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Hitchhiker’s
Guide to the Galaxy</i> – so that at some point you stop knowing or caring
what’s going on…except that someone’s rushing about doing something exciting
and it’s all very entertaining.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span class="gc-message-sms-text" style="font-family: inherit;">I rate this book a solid 7/10.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span class="gc-message-sms-text" style="font-family: inherit;">And I must say: I was very
impressed with the ending.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span class="gc-message-sms-text" style="font-family: inherit;">With the final paragraphs.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span class="gc-message-sms-text" style="font-family: inherit;">With the final sentence.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span class="gc-message-sms-text" style="font-family: inherit;">That’s what you call a memorable
ending.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormalCxSpMiddle">
<span class="gc-message-sms-text" style="font-family: inherit;">Well, done, Mr. Pratchett.</span></div>
SteventheThornhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16901573914662306498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6277562326083982433.post-22942142313044719522012-10-27T14:07:00.001-05:002015-01-09T17:49:35.598-06:00Thud! by Terry PratchettUnlike what I said in <a href="http://steventhethorn.blogspot.com/2012/09/night-watch.html">my last Discworld-related post</a>, I did not check out <i>The Fifth Elephant </i>from the library. Instead, I took <i>Thud! </i>(the seventh book in Terry Pratchett's Watch/Vimes series) off my bookshelf and read it.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWpS4qdvuJfFu-uSZXNJQC-vXa2bHihmf8pzPKOaoNN3aEEm7u_wbSXk5EA5y8m2G32kV1lSi_JhmpEcaYcI5sDnf9I6m6MIuNDO6ezl5e4qOsrA3jkvamDRTK4QzlkZ-4kWpPVqCSgio/s1600/thud.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWpS4qdvuJfFu-uSZXNJQC-vXa2bHihmf8pzPKOaoNN3aEEm7u_wbSXk5EA5y8m2G32kV1lSi_JhmpEcaYcI5sDnf9I6m6MIuNDO6ezl5e4qOsrA3jkvamDRTK4QzlkZ-4kWpPVqCSgio/s1600/thud.jpg" height="320" width="212" /></a></div>
<br />
Koom Valley is the legendary battleground where, centuries ago, the dwarves ambushed the trolls. Or the trolls ambushed the dwarves. No one actually remembers.<br />
But every dwarf and troll, whether he was alive at the time or not*, swears that the Other Guy started it.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">*And none of them were alive at the time.</span><br />
<br />
Now a dwarf has been murdered in secret tunnels underneath Ankh-Morpork - and a troll club was suspiciously left at the scene of the crime! Commander Sam Vimes has to solve the case before race riots flare up and burn the city down. Unfortunately, with Koom Valley Day just around the corner, every dwarf and troll is already set to pick a fight. Or start an all-out war.<br />
<br />
To add onto Commander Vimes's worries, he has to deal with the politics of the Watch's first vampire (part of affirmative action), he must endure the audit of an annoying bureaucrat, and - no matter what's on his schedule - Vimes has to be home at 6:00pm sharp for the most important event on his schedule: reading <i>Where's My Cow? </i>to his little boy.<br />
<br />
This book has the Ankh-Morpork City Watch.<br />
It has Sam Vimes.<br />
It's entitled <i>Thud!</i><br />
How can it go wrong?<br />
<i> </i><br />
It can't. And it didn't.<i> Thud! </i>was a solid 7/10.<br />
<br />
Now I have to go back and read <i>The Fifth Elephant</i>...and then read <i>Snuff</i>, the eighth Watch book.SteventheThornhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16901573914662306498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6277562326083982433.post-73963699619320326612012-10-22T22:29:00.001-05:002015-01-09T17:50:54.321-06:00Ship Breaker by Paolo BacigalupiLast month I read <i>Ship Breaker</i> by Paolo Bacigalupi.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJK0ekrlZC93Sfi_AgTd4AAVzq_lbCdvhLLWR0DZPV6sm5IK9LfUA1LkLTGygGKIOpy6BqSV0NweiFiQq33HTsEVdHv19lSm98pVCbWjkoUwXhGcrwM-5GsrhFc1_kj9lhI0Yeh5g0wbs/s1600/shipbreaker.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJK0ekrlZC93Sfi_AgTd4AAVzq_lbCdvhLLWR0DZPV6sm5IK9LfUA1LkLTGygGKIOpy6BqSV0NweiFiQq33HTsEVdHv19lSm98pVCbWjkoUwXhGcrwM-5GsrhFc1_kj9lhI0Yeh5g0wbs/s1600/shipbreaker.jpg" height="320" width="205" /></a></div>
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<i>Ship Breaker</i> is a young adult post-apocalyptic novel about a boy named Nailer with a dangerous job: tearing old ships apart to scavenge their parts. Scavengers must belong to a tribe and meet their quota of scavenged materials - or face exile, starvation, and death. But they have to survive the scavenging too - and some will drown in pockets of oil or get trapped inside the damaged ships.<br />
<br />
Nailer's life is changed when a rich clipper ship is blown onto shore. It's a lucky break for him, because he can get rich off the scavenge. But a girl inside turns out to be alive, and when Nailer decides not to kill her (against the pragmatic advice of his friend), he finds himself caught in a high-stakes war. <br />
<br />
The rich girl's enemies are hunting her. Her dangerous friends are trying to rescue her. Nailer's colleagues on shore want her ship for spoil - and her life for ransom.<br />
<br />
Nailer wanted to do the right thing...but soon he may just want to stay alive.<br />
<br />
I rate the book 6/10. The author did a great job of setting up Nailer's desperate situation throughout the book. He's a sympathetic and admirable protagonist who tries to do the right thing when he could easily benefit by doing wrong.<br />
<br />
There are some compelling villains in the story, including Nailer's father: a man who used to be decent but became dangerous and unpredictable due to drug abuse. He is scary.<br />
<br />
I read the book for my Writing the Novel class. It kept my interest throughout - partly because Nailer's situation seemed very plausible.<br />
<br />
If you like any of Cherie Priest's steampunk books, like <a href="http://steventhethorn.blogspot.com/2012/01/books-read-in-january-2012.html"><i>Dreadnought</i></a>, then you might like <i>Ship Breaker</i>.SteventheThornhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16901573914662306498noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6277562326083982433.post-50745162543102240652012-10-08T21:37:00.002-05:002012-10-08T21:37:40.924-05:00Remembering Dr. Fears<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTUQGjpUce_5K-5vhP658bEOLQbB9nlJpDlihDz-feM9FAaWNphEy4B0EN5vFDpKs1bxhzuSF5auRaSB0QPTp2hIMtEjnQTCDT913B8hbBvI6ZoW83oHPODm1aIAoDZwIywNlv6tXu0Es/s1600/steven+thorn+dr+fears+spring+2010+-+Copy.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a></div>
On Sunday, <span class="userContent">I heard that Dr. J. Rufus Fears passed away. He was one</span><a href="http://www.oudaily.com/news/2012/oct/07/j-rufus-fears-three-time-professor-year-dies-67/"> of OU's most beloved professors</a>.<br />
<br />
I spent 5 semesters with Dr. Fears. I took Freedom in Rome, Freedom in Greece, Letters Capstone, Honors
Reading, and Honors Research with him.<br />
<br />
<span class="userContent">He was a
hero, a mentor, a brilliant professor, an entertaining speaker, and one
of the greatest teachers of our era. He cannot be
replaced, and he will never be forgotten. He taught me so much about
history and life. </span><br />
<br />
<span class="userContent">I'm glad that I spent so much time with him, and I'm glad that I completed my Senior Honors Thesis on the Mysteries of Mithraism with him last semester. </span><br />
<br />
<span class="userContent">But I wanted to spend more time with him. I can't believe I won't speak to him again.</span><br />
<br />
<span class="userContent">I miss him a lot. </span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTUQGjpUce_5K-5vhP658bEOLQbB9nlJpDlihDz-feM9FAaWNphEy4B0EN5vFDpKs1bxhzuSF5auRaSB0QPTp2hIMtEjnQTCDT913B8hbBvI6ZoW83oHPODm1aIAoDZwIywNlv6tXu0Es/s1600/steven+thorn+dr+fears+spring+2010+-+Copy.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTUQGjpUce_5K-5vhP658bEOLQbB9nlJpDlihDz-feM9FAaWNphEy4B0EN5vFDpKs1bxhzuSF5auRaSB0QPTp2hIMtEjnQTCDT913B8hbBvI6ZoW83oHPODm1aIAoDZwIywNlv6tXu0Es/s320/steven+thorn+dr+fears+spring+2010+-+Copy.JPG" width="320" /></a><span class="userContent"> </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Dr. Fears and I after a "Freedom in Rome" class in the spring of 2010.</div>
SteventheThornhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16901573914662306498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6277562326083982433.post-26725047325752756152012-09-29T12:00:00.003-05:002015-01-09T17:52:09.345-06:00Night Watch by Terry PratchettToday I finished reading Terry Pratchett's <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Night-Watch-Terry-Pratchett/dp/0060013125/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1348934472&sr=8-4&keywords=night+watch">Night Watch</a>, the sixth in his Sam Vimes/Ankh-Morpork Watch subseries. So that means I've read...<br />
<br />
1. <a href="http://steventhethorn.blogspot.com/2012/05/guards-guards.html">Guards! Guards!</a><br />
2. <a href="http://steventhethorn.blogspot.com/2012/06/men-at-arms.html">Men At Arms</a><br />
3. <a href="http://steventhethorn.blogspot.com/2012/06/color-of-magic-and-feet-of-clay.html">Feet of Clay</a><br />
4. <a href="http://steventhethorn.blogspot.com/2012/09/jingo.html">Jingo</a>
<br />
<br />
You'll notice that #5 (conveniently named <i>The Fifth Elephant</i>) is missing from that list. That's because I had #6 on my shelf waiting to be read...and The Fifth Elephant was on a library shelf somewhere.<br />
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In <i>Night Watch</i>, Vimes is sent back in time when a magical incident takes place during an attempted arrest. Vimes finds himself in the Ankh-Morpork of his youth...just a few days before an historic revolution is set to take place. He needs to arrest the criminal and get back to his own time - but he can't just abandon his younger self, or the pathetic Night Watch, to the injustices and dangers embroiling the city.<br />
<br />
Vimes knows what happened in the history books, but now he's living the history, and he doesn't know if Doing The Job In Front of Him will change the timeline. If he does the right thing, he could change history, meaning that his present would cease to exist.<br />
<br />
...unless it never happened.<br />
<br />
And if the criminal reveals Vimes's identity- particularly to Young Sam Vimes - the consequences could be catastrophic.<br />
<br />
Pratchett manages to juggle the time-travel conundrums with cleverness, suspense, and wit. The stakes continue to rise throughout the book as the revolution rises, the soldiers are mustered to keep order, people panic, and Someone Does Something Stupid.<br />
<br />
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Vimes has always been a strong character in the Discworld series, and this book explores further the depths of his ethics, honor, and hard-earned experience.</div>
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Also, since Vimes traveled to the past, <i>Night Watch</i> is a
great opportunity to see a lot of our favorite Ankh-Morpork characters as they
were Back In The Day. Without giving away any major spoilers, we meet Fred
Colon, Nobby Nobbs, Young Havelock Vetinari,
and, of course, Young Sam Vimes. (The interaction between Vimes and his younger self is very well done.)</div>
With his typical insight into human nature, Pratchett provides great commentary on mob mentality, revolutionary idealism, Glorious Last Stands (and the corresponding intestines) and the identity of The People.<br />
<br />
<i>Truth, Justice, Freedom - and a Hard-Boiled Egg!</i><br />
<br />
A great read. I give it a 7/10.<br />
<br />
And now I guess it's off-to-the-library for <i>The Fifth Elephant</i>...?SteventheThornhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16901573914662306498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6277562326083982433.post-47574375078395292912012-09-20T16:27:00.003-05:002015-01-09T17:53:05.499-06:00V for Vendetta by Alan MooreToday I finished a reading group, led by my friend Michael, for Alan Moore’s and David Lloyd’s graphic novel, <i>V for Vendetta</i>.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLFaMJkmK_qjKG8365x0FHFz7KnJ5nYPCajMR94c49WumZxNG5ph4DnWKvPHdTHHEl2eZ7nhwhfBHX49lfBaWuXaL-RMxOfHbXaAKNNNXgj2iu218nX8jZHmFCB3ybgwuPETSZTM0eRJ8/s1600/v.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLFaMJkmK_qjKG8365x0FHFz7KnJ5nYPCajMR94c49WumZxNG5ph4DnWKvPHdTHHEl2eZ7nhwhfBHX49lfBaWuXaL-RMxOfHbXaAKNNNXgj2iu218nX8jZHmFCB3ybgwuPETSZTM0eRJ8/s1600/v.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
This blog post will have <span style="font-size: x-large;"><b>SPOILERS</b></span>.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Also note that I will use the words “graphic novel” and “book” interchangeably.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><b><i>V for Vendetta</i></b></span> </div>
<br />
It’s impossible for me to talk about <i>V for Vendetta</i> without also mentioning <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0434409/">the movie</a> based on the graphic novel. In a break with stereotypical comparisons between books and movies, I can say with absolute certainty that the <i>V for Vendetta</i> movie is far and away the best version of this story.<br />
<br />
First of all, the movie has <b>Hugo Weaving</b> and <b>Natalie Portman</b>.<br />
I’m a huge fan of both actors (Hugo Weaving is Elrond and Mr. Anderson. ‘Nuff said. And Natalie Portman is...Natalie Portman. ‘Nuff said.) Their performances really defined the film.<br />
<br />
Second, the book is full of <b>Stupid Anarchy</b>. <br />
<br />
One of the biggest contrasts between the book and the film is the anarchic bent of the book. In the book, V’s infatuation with anarchy (and presumably Alan Moore’s) really annoys me. That's because I find any obsession with anarchy to be juvenile, na<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<![endif]--><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;"></span>ive, and angsty.<br />
It’s all well and good to point out the corruption of a system and decide to overthrow it, but what are you going to put in its place? You can break things and provide no solution if you want - but all you've done is broken what's in place. Someone else will come along and put something else in its place. The vacuum won't be empty for long.<br />
<br />
In the book, V overthrows a corrupt, totalitarian regime and puts...nothing in its place. He creates chaos and allows the people of England to make their own choices about the future.<br />
V claims that the people should have the right to make their own choices, so he creates chaos and anarchy. He makes a clean slate.<br />
<br />
But the last time England had a clean slate, they chose a totalitarian government. So they exercised their choice...didn’t they?<br />
<br />
Oh. But V didn't like their choice last time. So he punched the reset button. And he left them with nothing—he just created another vacuum.<br />
<br />
...and we’re to expect a different outcome this time?
Is V going to help with the glorious new future? No, he's dead. He <b>did</b> leave Evey in his place though. That's good...right? (Not as could as it <b>could</b> be, because Natalie Portman is not Evey in the graphic novel).<br />
<br />
Presumably, Evey is supposed to help with the rebuilding now that she’s taken over V’s identity as...er, V.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><i><b>"People should not be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people.</b>"</i></span><br />
<br />
That's probably the most memorable line in the movie. I don't recall reading that line in the book.<br />
<br />
I <i>might </i>have missed it (let me know if I did), but if it was there, it obviously didn't make much of an impression. It certainly was <b>not</b> the main point of the book, while it <b>was</b> the main point of the movie.<br />
<br />
The movie was very English and American in that respect: the people have
the right (and, some philosophers would say, the duty) to overthrow a
corrupt government that has ceased to represent its people. <br />
<br />
The movie ends on a hopeful note: the people have spoken, the corrupt regime has been overthrown, and it is implied (from my point of view, at least) that a <i>newer, better government will be put in its place</i>.<br />
<br />
I can't remember the book providing any good examples of leaders or authority figures. Probably because it's anarchic.<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Good Scenes in the Book and Better Scenes in the Movie</span></b><br />
<br />
There is a particularly good book-exclusive scene in which V roleplays with a statue of Lady Justice. V tells Justice that she has betrayed him (because she allowed the totalitarian regime to masquerade as justice). He adds that he has taken a new mistress: anarchy. Then V blows up the statue of Lady Justice. Ha <i>ha</i>! How do you like <i>that</i> breakup?<br />
<br />
Aside from that memorable scene, which demonstrates V's flair for the dramatic, the best scenes in the graphic novel are also in the movie—and they’re <b>better</b> in the movie.<br />
Case in point*: Evey’s moment where she stands in the rain - after discovering that “last inch” within herself - is one of the best parts of the entire story.<br />
It's good (even great) in the book...but it’s a <i>soul-elevating</i>, tear-inducing moment in the movie. It's one of my favorite pieces of cinema. Put it up on the wall for those young impressionable students to say, "This Is How It's Done."<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">*Isn't that such a useful phrase?</span><br />
<br />
I guess I can at least thank Alan Moore for writing the book so we would have the movie. Thanks, Alan. You're a great writer. Your characters are very well developed. You wrote a memorable story that thousands and thousands (millions even?) of people love.<br />
But the anarchy is annoying.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Other Things That Annoyed Me About the Book:</b></span><br />
<br />
<b>a)</b> Lots and lots of nudity. Lots. Didn’t want to see that.<br />
<br />
<b>2)</b> V is a <i>very</i> well written character, but he “Wait and see...the answers will come...it will all be revealed” probably irritated me just as much as they annoyed Evey.\<br />
<br />
<b>d)</b> The ending was unsatisfactory. Why did V let himself get shot by Finch?<br />
I did receive a very good explanation for this from my friend Sam, who said that V understood that his purpose was fulfilled, since he was a killer and the time for killing had ended. As the new V, Evey’s role was to rebuild.<br />
In that case, I would hope that Evey would have less of an obsession with anarchy.<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Final Thoughts</b></span><br />
<br />
<b>Uno:</b> Thanks Michael, for leading a great reading group. <br />
<br />
<b>Dos: </b>If my country is in peril and I need a hero to lead my people into the bright uplands of freedom, I'll take the Founding Fathers over V any day.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>'Merica</b></span>
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SteventheThornhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16901573914662306498noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6277562326083982433.post-7479117136685632942012-09-15T14:08:00.010-05:002015-01-09T17:53:51.884-06:00Going Postal by Terry PratchettThis weekend I watched the film version of Terry Pratchett's <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Terry-Pratchett-Postal-Charles-Dance/dp/B0056G1APW/ref=sr_1_1?s=movies-tv&ie=UTF8&qid=1347736136&sr=1-1&keywords=going+postal">Going Postal</a>.<br />
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<br />
The movie held very close to the book, <a href="http://steventhethorn.blogspot.com/2012/05/going-postal.html">which I greatly enjoyed reading earlier this year</a>. (It might also interest you to know that the book <a href="http://steventhethorn.blogspot.com/2012/08/enders-game-and-top-100-sf-and-fantasy.html">is ranked among the Top 100 Science Fiction and Fantasy Books</a>.)<br />
<br />
Moist von Lipwig is a con man who's come to the end of his rope (which, unfortunately, ends in a noose).<br />
<br />
He's given a choice: die or become the new postmaster general.<br />
<br />
That sounds like an easy decision - but not when you've seen the mess that the post office is in...and not when you know that the last four postmasters have suffered terrible deaths.<br />
<br />
Moist undertakes the task to restore the post office to its former glory. His challenge will include:<br />
<br />
a) Surviving the curse that's killed the other four postmasters<br />
2) Surviving the cutthroat business tactics of his rivals<br />
d) Overcoming his con-artist instincts before he destroying a relationship with the first person that he's ever cared about<br />
<br />
Seeing Discworld in a movie for the first time held a similar wonder to seeing Narnia, Middle-earth, and Hogwarts onscreen. The makers of the film did an excellent job with their sets and costumes. They created a very convincing Ankh-Morpork in the film.<br />
<br />
One of the best character in <span style="font-style: italic;">Going Postal</span> is Mr. Pump (or "Pump 19"), a golem who serves as Moist's parole officer. I was very pleased with how Mr. Pump and the other golems were represented in the film. Mr. Pump's voice was particularly satisfying. I always cast the voice of André the Giant for Mr. Pump when I read the books. This wasn't André in the movie, but I suppose it was the next best thing.<br />
<br />
All of the casting was good. Richard Coyle (Moist von Lipwig) and Claire Foy (Adora Belle Dearheart) were great together, and Charles Dance did a superb job as Lord Vetinari (although I always thought that Vetinari's hair was black...)<br />
<br />
Terry Pratchett was deeply involved with the making of the movie, and he was quite pleased with the outcome. I can see why.<br />
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<span style="font-style: italic;">Going Postal</span> was well-worth watching, and it would be a good introduction to anyone who has yet to experience to humor and fantastical adventure of Discworld.SteventheThornhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16901573914662306498noreply@blogger.com0